Harapan dan Kenyataan

20 Januari 2020

Terkadang manusia terjebak dalam harapan(-harapan) sampai lupa dengan kenyataan.
Ada yang terjebak harapan berharap menjadi kenyataan.
Ada yang berharap untuk menyimpan atau membalas atau mempertahankan atau melupakan.
Tetapi mereka lupa ada kenyataan, hidup yang harus dihayati, dijalani, dilalui dan dinikmati.

Terkadang membandingkan harapan dan kenyataan melupakan nikmatnya menjalani hidup.

Live your life, they said. Live your life happily no matter what, if i might suggest.
Sometimes, we just forget how wonderful life is when we compare expectations and reality.

Yes, probably some people might not treat you well. So what then. You can always adjust your actions. Show them you dont like it or just simply ignore them. If you expect them to treat you well, it will bother you more, especially if they will not change their attitude.

So yes, free yourself from those unnecesary expectations. Yes, it is not easy but it is really worth trying, right?

This post is a self reminder #notetoself

Peace TakeCare GoodLuck
Erma

Writing Again

11 January 2020

So after my last post around 5 years ago, here i am start to fill my blog with my words again.

I started blogging on 2004 —- whoah it was 16 years ago. Somehow before me ver 3 point 5, I stumbled on this page after years.

Maybe it’s sign that I should write again. Probably not for public but for myself. I find reading my own writings very calming.. Ok actually not really calming but it clears my head for what was happened at that time or somehow it’s like a reminder of life, if i could put it that way.

This blog has witnessed me in lots of different stages of life and witnessed me lived in three different countries. Eventhough i never mentioned about my daily life, but my blog reflects what happened in my heart; my words that can not be spoken dan my acts that can not be seen.

I also see changes in how i pour ‘what i felt in my heart’ into words. If years ago I wrote something without thinking and used some ‘not so good’ words, my more recent writings have evolved. Hopefully i can write something wiser in the future while stay true to myself.

So yes maybe i will start to write again :)

Actually i have made a dedicated instagram account for me to upload my writings but up until now i havent uploaded anything yet. Hopefully start to upload something really soon.

Cheers,
Peace TakeCare and GoodLuck
Erma

Almost 3.0

It is two more days before me version 3.0. I think i  need to write down something for myself, maybe as a reminder or a reflection what i have been through so far.

Maybe people see my life as a picture perfect life as a happy mom with adorable son and having and living a good life.

God will be mad at me if i dont be grateful for what i have. I do feel blessed with everything i have.

But i am a mere human. And as we all know there is no such thing call "perfect" in this world. I did regret some things, questioning lots of things, why this and why that and so on. To be truthfully honest my life today is waaaayyyy different with what i had in my mind in my early twenties. At first i felt that things were falling apart but in my late twenties i realised that things are not falling apart, it is falling into places. Places where it should be.

When i took a glance on my past by looking on my present, if i think with my heart i will always questioning lots lots lots oh things but if ..... to be continued my toddler is crying .....  but if i think with my logic it is all make sense.

Highlight on my twenties

Cant describe how much awesome moments and experiences that i have in my twenties. Major highlights are worked as trainee associate in a lawfirm, watched loads of concerts gigs live musics, studied aboard, Farid Iskandar, Married, delivered Arsakha to this world... Being a mom is definitely the MAJ!

One thing that i need to remember is :

what happened in your teen, twenties it will have impact on your life no matter how long it is.. it can be 10 year ago, 2 year ago or 15 years ago. When there was a situation where feeling get involved you just cant easily wipe it away. It will be part of your journey, you might not understand why certain things happened to you and why it sticks for so long until everything fall into places and finally you get it.

If i could send mesagge to all my child and grandchild and grandgrandgrandchild and so on :

"Please be careful with every decision that you make in your life, you might not know what it will bring to you and your heart. You have to be strong to face impacts and consequences from your decisions. If you do not have a strong heart to face it better ask and pray to God for help and peacefulness." *e080115

PeaceTakeCareGoodLuck
Erma ver 2.9

I think all Moms should read this :)

http://powerofmoms.com/2014/04/i-want-to-be-fabulously-ordinary/

And this one is for me :)

Since 2005

After blogging for 9 years, i just realized that there is certain information in blogger that let me know how many pageviews and where they came from.

telat deh... udah ga guna lagi sih kayanya sekarang hahahaha.. kemana aja lo Ma... -_____-

dan baru menyadari tampilan blog gw sama sekali ga menarik. Ok deh next time, kalo ada waktu kita perbagus tampilan blog ini :D 

peace takecare goodluck

18 march 2014

Erma

If i have to fight alone, so be it

My mom teaches me to believe in God. So when i find out that i might have to fight alone, i said to myself "so be it" God with me always.
Peace Take Care Good Luck
14032014
erma

I ask God

7 Feb 14
I asked God few years ago..

For an everlasting love
For a love that stay
For a love that won't lie
For a love that 'always'

Always be there for me
Always care for me
Always kiss me
Always hug me

No matter what..

God answered my prayer
God give me you, who

Follow me where ever I go
Kisses and hugs me all the time
Call my name with love
Sleep next to me

Sad when I am away
Need me when I am gone
Understand each other
Love me, always

God give me you, my son

Love you Arsakha,
Bunda

Memory Full - Force Stop

Today, i am experiencing a state of "memory full" in my laptop. it can not work properly. system error, can't save files, etc. Doing "force stop" doesn't help either, later i found out that 4GB RAM are all used. I don't know how to solve this. 

I assume there are at least 2 ways to fix it.

1. Erase all stuff that i no longer use, including files, pictures, applications, etc

or / and

2. Add more 4GB RAM (max capacity that my laptop can take) 

Now i start to think, it is kinda same with i am feeling right now. I think my heart is "memory full", it can not work properly. can not love well, seize life well, malfunctioning.

Doing force stop to certain feeling that i don't want to feel is not working too. You just can NOT "force stop" feelings. It is same with certain applications in computer that you just can't stop because you are using it - understand? 

At first, i don't understand, why i can't stop it all. but then i realized, because i am using it, you can not stop things that you need, even though you might not realized that you need it. Just like those certain applications that you just can't "force stop".

So, for myself i assume that i need to:

1. Erase all my feelings that i should not and can not have

or / and

2. Accept all my feelings bitter or sweet by expanding my heart capacity

Maybe, computer and human are not so different after all.

Cheers,

Peace Take Care Good Luck

@ermaeruma  

kata mereka sebaiknya menulis saja..

perasaan itu ada bukan untuk diingkari 

dan bukan untuk dihindari

tidak selalu bisa untuk diakui dan dihayati

tetapi bisa juga menyakiti

perasaan yang ada bisa jadi memenuhi

jiwa, pikiran dan hati

dan jika dihindari

bisa menyakiti diri

jika bisa diberikan sepenuh hati

kepada si pemberi inspirasi

mungkin bisa jadi tak berarti

karena tak saling mengisi

ingin diri menghilangkan ini

melarung semuanya pergi

tapi apa daya diri 

perasaan tidak bisa berjalan pergi

selama ini selalu tak diakui

perasaan yang dikira pergi

mengingkari diri sendiri

air mata tak terhindari

berharap tak punya rasa ini

yang mungkin tak akan mati

baiknya harus diakui

kalau memang rasa itu tak akan pernah pergi

peace takecare goodluck

@ermaeruma

terima kasih kepada my angels on earth ibu Andien dan ibu Oya piss piss piss sambil minum teh botol :D piss lagi ah hahhahaa :D

Mengurus Pembuatan Paspor

Dear Friends,

Saya mau share sedikit pengalaman menbuat paspor baru dan memperpanjang paspor di Kantor Imigras Kelas 1 Jakarta Selatan di Jalan Ciputat Raya.

Lokasinya :

- Dari arah Organon Bintaro, ke arah perempatan Deplu (yang ada Pizza Hut) lurus terus ikutin jalan, naik ke tanjakan, belok kanan ada lampu merah belok ke kiri, karena lokasi Gedung Imigrasi ada disebelah kanan jadi puteran balik pertama puter balik ga jauh ada gedung kaca-kaca biru disebelah kiri.

- Dari arah Radio Dalem Pondok Indah, ke arah PIM lurus terus, rumahnya Lawyer Warsito lurus terus ketemu bunderan belok kanan, ada lampu merah belok kanan, karena lokasi Gedung Imigrasi ada disebelah kanan jadi puteran balik pertama puter balik ga jauh ada gedung kaca-kaca biru disebelah kiri.

- Dari arah Tol yang keluar di Fed Ex, belok kiri (posisi Fed Ex di sebelah kiri) lurus sampai ketemu per4 Deplu lurus,karena lokasi Gedung Imigrasi ada disebelah kanan jadi puteran balik pertama puter balik ga jauh ada gedung kaca-kaca biru disebelah kiri.

Dokumen-dokumen (semua dokumen di Photo Copy di A4 - Jangan Digunting):

-Membuat Paspor Baru (untuk bayi/anak/yang belum pernah punya paspor):

----Bawa semua Photo Copy 1x dan Dokumen Asli----

1. Akta Kelahiran 

2. KTP (jika sudah punya)

3. KTP Ibu dan KTP Ayah (untuk yang belum punya KTP)

4. Surat Nikah Orang Tua (untuk yang belum punya KTP)

5. Ijazah 

6. Kartu Keluarga

-Memperpanjang (istilah Imigrasinya Penggantian) Paspor (untuk yang sudah mau habis/sudah habis masa berlakunya):

----Bawa semua Photo Copy 1x dan Dokumen Asli---- Sebetulnya kalau untuk memperpanjang katanya dokumen asli tidak diperlukan, tapi untuk amannya bawa saja.

1. Akta Kelahiran 

2. KTP (jika sudah punya)

3. KTP Ibu dan KTP Ayah (untuk yang belum punya KTP)

4. Surat Nikah Orang Tua (untuk yang belum punya KTP)

5. Ijazah 

6. Kartu Keluarga

7. Paspor Lama

Tata Cara Pembuatan Paspor Online :

- Online ke www.imigrasi.co.id (kalau ga salah ya.. Atau search aja di Google) 

1. Scan semua dokumen dengan size tidak lebih besar dari 1MB

2. Ikuti petunjuk di website.

---pengalaman pribadi sih, buka websitenya supppppeeerrr laaaamaaa mau pake wifi yg kenceng udah didiemin semaleman ga kebuka juga, bisa jadi untung2an sih. Tapi pas ke imigrasi, petugasnya emang mengakui kl website susah untuk diakses -________-'' okelahklbegitu---

Jadi kalau ngurus paspor pake jalur biasa normal butuh waktu kira-kira 6-7 hari kerja dari proses pertama menyerahkan dokumen+bayar ke BNI, poto+wawancara dan ambil paspor. Tips untuk mengurus paspor adalah:

- dateng pagi jam 6an untuk ambil nomor, karena biasanya orang-orang pada ngantri dari subuh.

- untuk ambil nomor untuk menyerahkan dokumen dan wawancara poto dilakukan dibawah jam 12 siang. kalau lewat udah ga bisa.

-untuk ambil nomor buat pengambilan paspor yg udah jadi mulai jam 12 siang.

Untuk yang butuh cepet, bisa juga ke Kantor Imigrasi One Day Service, yang kata petugas di Buncit, di Indonesia cuma ada di Jakarta Barat dan Kemayoran. Kalau disitu bisa sehari langsung jadi.

Kalau ke kantor imigrasi lain, meskipun pakai surat pengantar dari kantor (biasanya untuk wartawan atau profesi lain yg butuh cepet) tetep ga bisa jadi sehari. Kecuali kl ada kenalan orang dalem kali ya.

Untuk biaya semua normal ko tergantung aja penggantian karena rusak/hilang atau perpanjangan atau bikin baru. Ga ada biaya tambahan lain karena semua di bayarkan langsung cash (ga bisa transfer katanya-ga tau kl online ya..) Ke Teller Bank Negara Indonesia (BNI).

Biaya pembuatan paspor mulai dari Rp.105.000 untuk 24 halaman dan Rp.225.000 untuk 48 halaman. Ga ada biaya tambahan karena semua langsung dibayar ke Teller BNI. 

Untuk teman-teman yang berencana bikin passport atau perpanjang dan bertempat di daerah Jakarta Selatan dan sekitarnya, semoga post ini bisa berguna ya..

Peace TakeCare GoodLuck

@ermaeruma

Pacaran Beda Agama - 2

This post is a continuation of my previous post Pacaran Beda Agama - 1.

Long story short, I decided not to marry the person -that at that time i thought that i loved him and he loved me and all lovey dovey thingy, soulmate and everything that you can imagine-. Even though he asked me to marry him.

The reason is we have differences. Which some couples can easily solve but not for us -okay, for me especially-.

Why? Because at some point i realized that i do NOT believe in love. Love can fade and change, i just can not predict when and why. And i can NOT put love as a base foundation of my marriage because it is fragile, most of all because i do not believe in love.

People mind tends to think what they want to believe. At that time I thought that we were in love, so did most of our friends. But i might be wrong, right. 

The reality is not long after we officially decide to separate, he found someone new. The good thing was when i heard about it from my friend, i have met my future husband and have set a marriage date. The truth is i do really want him to find someone new, just never imagined that it felt quite weird. 

This year, i have attended lots of inter-religion weddings. These couples have managed to solve their differences and i do believe that they have reasons which we (other people) need to respect. I am not going to judge anyone based on their preferences on marriage. Everyone has right to choose. 

Yesterday i went to a wedding. No, it is not inter-religion wedding. But the groom's mom and dad are praying in different ways. Even though the parent is in inter-religion family but they do not want their son marrying someone from different religion (i heard this from their relatives - i'm not sotoy or assuming, i heard the fact). 

I am not going to assume anything based on this post. I just want to share my experiences related to pacaran beda agama. 

I might continue to the 3rd part or not.

Peace Take Carre Good Luck

Erma

011213 

Tips Menikah

One of my best friends is getting married this week, and what I told her repeatedly was :

Menikah itu tidak seperti di buku cerita dimana setelah menikah itu happy ending dan happily ever after.

Bisa jadi seperti itu sih tapi tidak mudah. Saya tidak tahu ya bagaimana keadaan pernikahan kalau menikah dengan orang yang sudah dicintai sejak lama atau dengan orang yang sudah dipacari cukup lama. Tapi bagi saya semua perlu diusahakan.

Peace Take Care Good Luck
Erma
011213

to erase a feeling - to create a feeling

do you know how to erase a feeling or to create one?

please let me know.

do i want to erase what i have inside? no. maybe. idk.

do i want to create what i dont have inside? yes. maybe. idk.

how about you?

or maybe i just have to synchronize it? with who or with what?

with you or with my brain?

tell me when you know the answer. 

peace take care good luck

erma

27nov13